On the Matter of Protector Fertility
The Aurora Universe now has a history compiled by members of the Aurora Universe Writer's Group. It is a welcome addition to the genre, and long overdue.
While reading through this valuable, and informitive document, I came across the phenomonon known as 'Ples'tathy', whereby a Velorian female achieves sexual maturity, and crosses over the threshold into womanhood. While most women regard sexual maturation as a mixed blessing - some going as far as to referring to their menstrual cycle as 'the curse' - Velorian women, by contrast, and along with their many other blessings, are further blessed in that they are capable of exercising complete control over their reproductive functions. They can ovulate, or not, depending on their wish. Ovulation, in other words, is a purely conscious act for them, and, so being, is, most certainly, the utopia of birth control.
It caused me to wonder, however, what might happen if a Velorian woman was not so blessed - if she were, in fact, well - normal with regard to her reproductive cycle. Though it may be nothing greater than a periodic inconvenience to an average Vel, it could prove to be very problematic to the warrior subgroup of the Supremis species known as Protectors.
These are the women who fight those nasty Arions for the enjoyment of us all. They also do other things for our enjoyment, but that would be diverting from the main point here.
If a Protector were visited by a monthly 'curse', it could seriously effect her ability to face down an armada of Arion battleships.
Velorian Protector: I can't fight you today, I'm in Ples'tathy.
Arion General: Ples'ta-what?
Velorian Protector: I've got my period.
Arion General: Oh, terrific! Just bloody terrific!
Velorian Protector: Hey, gimme a break, will ya! It's not like I planned this.
Arion General: I bring an armada of war ships half way across the galaxy, through two dimensions and three - yes, three - wormholes to take you out, and this is what I get.
Velorian Protector: You could've called ahead - I mean, there are such things as information cubes.
Arion General: It was supposed to be a surprise attack.
Velorian Protector: Yeah, wul - I guess there was more than one surprise.
Arion General: I guess so.
Velorian Protector: You came all that way just for me?
Arion General: Yes.
Velorian Protector: Well, gee . . . I'm flattered.
Arion General: It's alright.
Velorian Protector: They're really pretty ships.
Arion General: Thanks.
Velorian Protector: Wul, anyway, could you come back - say, is next Tuesday good for you?
Arion Gerneral: Could we make it Monday?
Velorian Protector: Mmm, that's pushing it a little. I don't think so.
Arion General: This expedition is over budget, you might like to know.
Velorian Protector: Well, who's fault it that?
Uncontrollable Ples'tathy could also prove complicating for the inhabitants of a Protectorate when their Protector, on a monthly basis, becomes a bit irritable.
Protectorate National 1: What's with her today?
Protectorate National 2: Eah, she's on the rag.
Protectorate Protector: I heard that!
It could even prove dangerous for a Protectorate's inhabitants.
"Okay people! Listen up! This is your Protector speaking. I really need to get laid right now, so evacuate the planet before I screw half the population to death. You can come back, uh . . . next Tuesday should be good - and, hey - don't expect to find any long, round objects when you return - hey, you! Yeah, you over there! Just where do you think you're going with that tungsten baseball bat?"
Imagine a Protector's chagrin with a Messenger after a ten year hiatus.
"Wha'-d'-ya-mean, you forgot my tampons!?!?!"
But, more than anything, a naturally occurring Ples'tathy could prove complicating to a Velorian Protector's romantic life, especially at the beginning of the end of a special evening with a carefully selected man.
"Well, here we are. This is where I live."
"Nice place."
"Just drop your clothes - I mean, your purse - anywhere."
"Thanks."
"Is that honey, and wildflowers I smell?"
"Why, yes. As a matter of fact, it is."
"That's the scent of a Velorian woman, isn't it?"
"It most certainly is."
"And it generally means that she's . . . well, uh - 'hot'."
"Right again. Very good. Do you mind if I slip out of something comfortable?"
"Don't you mean, slip 'into' - DAMN!"
"There . . . that's better."
" . . . uh . . . "
"I like my body to be able to breathe."
" . . . uh . . . "
"Don't you agree?"
" . . . uh . . . "
"Oh, I see that my pheromones are having an effect. I'll control myself so you can speak."
"DAMN!"
"Well, that's a start anyway."
"Uh . . . gee, well . . . man! You've probably heard this before, but you're the most beautiful, gorgeous, desirable woman I've ever seen!"
"Yes, I have - "
"Wait, I'm not done yet."
"Sorry."
"I've creamed - I mean, dreamed, about making it - uh, making love that is, with a woman like you."
"I'm flat - "
"Not done yet."
"Sorry."
"Would you have sex with me?"
"Are you finished now?"
" . . . uh . . . "
"Yeah, you're done. Yes, I have heard it all before, but it's always nice to hear. The evidence of a man's arousal is the highest compliment to a Velorian femme - is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
"It's a banana."
"Mmmm, I'll bet it's not . . . "
"No, really - it is."
"Umhm . . . well, let's just see - damn!"
"Told ya."
"Alright . . . "
"I've got this thing for potassium, so I always keep one handy. There, I'll just put it on the counter. Okay, where were we?"
"I believe we were . . . aroused . . . "
"Oh yeah, that."
"Mmmm, I think I've found another banana . . . "
"No, I only carry just one - "
"Make love to me."
"Say-what?"
"Let's fuck."
"Oh, uh . . . yeah!"
"There now . . . doesn't that feel nice?"
"Your body . . . is incredible!"
"Thanks for noticing - where's the bedroom, or would you rather do it in the air?"
"You can fly?"
"Of course. I'm a Protector."
" . . . uh . . . "
"Is something wrong?"
"Velorian Protectors are fertile, aren't they?"
"Yes . . . Skietra, I want you!"
"Are you on the pill?"
" . . . no . . . "
"Do you have a diaphragm?"
"No."
"IUD?"
"No."
"Foam?"
"No."
"Morning after pill?"
"No."
"A condom?"
"Look, I know what you're thinking. You can relax. My genetics are different from your genetics, so there's no possible way that you could get me pregnant. Besides, I've just finished my period, so . . . I'm safe. Okay?"
"So, you don't have a condom."
" . . . no . . . "
"What do you mean, I couldn't get you pregnant?"
"It was nothing personal. It's purely a matter of genetics."
"Screw the genetics - I'm a man, aren't I?"
"It would be like trying to penetrate a bowling ball with a bunch of over-cooked peas."
"You're saying I'm not a man, aren't you?"
"Not in so many words . . . "
"How many words do you need?"
"What?"
"Oh, hell. I'm sorry. I'm just not . . . y'know, well - used to this sort of situation."
"Mmm, being with a Velorian?"
"No, being with a woman actually."
"Oh, then you don't have a lot of experience, do you."
" . . . no . . . "
"But you do have an imagination, don't you?"
" . . . yeah . . . "
"And you let that imagination run wild, and free . . . don't you?"
"Oh yeah!"
"Then I don't see a problem with . . . anything - we might do together."
" . . . really?"
"Umhm . . . "
"Gee . . . I . . . "
"And right now, I am in serious need of a lot of potassium."
"There's banana on the counter - "
"I meant, your - banana."
"Oh, uh . . . "
"What's the matter?"
"Well, we should use some kind of protection . . . y'know."
"I've just explained it to you."
"Yeah, but . . . still, it would be a real bummer if you got knocked up."
"Relax, will you. It'll be alright. I'll even let you pull out if it will make you feel better."
"You'd do that for me?"
"Of course I would. Now, we can get things back on track just as soon as I peel this big, hot, strong, ripe and reeeeally nasty banana . . . damn!"
" . . . sorry."
"I guess you really are serious about this, aren't you?"
"Yeah, well . . . "
"This is ridiculous. I'm a Velorian Protector, for cripes sake. I'm a freakin' goddess, already! Any man would give his life to sleep with me. I'm tall, strong, beautiful, powerful - my pheromones can make any man, or woman, mad with desire - they'd tear through buildings to get to me. I'm a blonde, blue-eyed mega babe with the most impossibly perfect set of triple-E breasts you've ever laid eyes on. I'm gorgeous, I'm nude and I want you - NOW!"
"Okay . . . "
"So what's the problem?"
"Well . . . uh . . . "
"Oh, Skietra! Why does this always happen to me!"
"What's that you just took out of your purse?"
"Oh this? It's, uh . . . for a sore shoulder."
"It looks like a vibrator."
"Yeah, well - whatever."
"Is that thing made of steel?"
"Inconel, with higher contents of chrome, carbon and nickel, to make it more resistant to extreme heat."
"Your shoulder gets that warm?"
"What shoulder? - uh, oh yeah . . . sure."
"Why are you tapping it against your palm?"
"Shit. You wouldn't happen to have a 7000 megawatt battery on hand, would you?"
"No, but I've still got the banana."
*sigh* "Let me have it."
"It may be a little over-ripe - "
"Shuttup-and-give-just-me-the-damned-thing-will-you!"
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